Towards the end of diaper making, some of the ladies wanted to make some pillow covers. Later they talked about that they never had opportunity to sleep on a pillow nor their children. Instead they always slept on a pieces of cloth wraped in a dupatta or rag pillow cover. So we all decided to have a pillow making session, however the plan was to make two pillows each and out of the two, one should be gifted to her most favourite persons in the shelter. This worked well. So I got a bag full of cotton and pillow covers from the nearby market and ask the ladies to share.
At the time of making pillows, we talked about their dream. Most of them said that they don’t see dreams but sometime nightmares. Few stories about dream, I am sharing.
Sometimes I see dreams not always. At night I dont want to close my eyes and see nightmares. Most of the time, I see one phantom character is trying to kill me, sometime that phantom trying to kill somebody else. However seldom I see dreams which is for good, as my husband has got a better career and we are out of this shelter and the awful environment to a place which only ours. We can live happily with our children and bring them up as we wish.
Reshma also expressed that she knows that she has no future in this place, shelter at Urdu Park. While talking about her childhood, she told that, ‘ I was born and brought up by my parents at the terrace of Jama Masjid, Meena Bazar and never went to school. I never had a chance to go out of this place. My childhood was worn-out just like the other homeless children, playing, making fun with friends and slowly growing up negotiating all kinds of unavoidable, lethal circumstances of the streets. The harshness of the streets never helped me to see dreams instead I always saw nightmares. The lady who did not know how the present day would be, how she could speak about a dream which only predicts uncertain future. Our lives are very flimsy and bent towards any kind of devastation, every moment of our life is challenging.’
Binu (25 years)
She was also born and brought up at the terrace of Jma Masjid , and spent her childhood with Reshma in Meena Bazar. She narrated that after a long tiring day, when she goes to sleep, most of the night she has a nightmare. She said, ‘I always see death, road accident, sometimes I see my mother-in-law, who passed away couple of years ago, is standing infornt of me and she is asking for some help. I struggle to reach her but somehow she cannot be reached and suddenly I wake up and see that I am sleeping in the same shleter with all other fellow ladies.’ She doesn’t know why she always see her. She was staying with her mother-in-law at the Meena Bazar, she died out of an illness, which she is unable to identify.
At the same time she spoke about her day dreams which takes her to her past where she wish to have nice household with parents and a descent life where she is living with her brothers. Her father has left her mother when they were small, that hurts her very much but still she dreams that her father who lives far away in Maharashtra, he is inviting her to his place and asking her to live with him forever. Her two brothers are far away, one is near his father and another is behind the bar, due to some criminal act. She often goes to see him at the prison. She day dreams of a day when they can all unite.
Sabina (28 years)
Sabina says ‘my partner is a daily wage earner, he works in the parking area of Chandni Chowk and earns 200/- per day and that is not enough to survive. So when ever I dream positive, like we have left the shelter and living in a house and nothing to worry about food and in bringing up our children, I force myself to open my eyes as I know this is next to impossible. I love to dream at the same time I am scared of dreaming as it increases my agony and hurts me a lot.’